


An Agreement Between Gentlemen

by JadedPandaGirl



Series: Panda's Expanded Devil May Cry [6]
Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: A 'lady' fails to act ladylike, Dante indulges in his dorkhood, Gen, Gentlemen, Tess is not amused, demon, duel, incubus, some foul language is used, the rules of chivalry are adhered
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 10:33:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8010256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadedPandaGirl/pseuds/JadedPandaGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not all demons are monstrous brutes bent on destruction. Some are gentlemen. And gentlemen solve their differences the civilized way...even if it pisses off the 'prize' in question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Agreement Between Gentlemen

“Now, now...please, don't look so icy, dear lady, I'm not the kind of man who will get uncouth or pushy, but I _am_ very persistent.”

An unimpressed " _Hunh_..." was all Tess mustered in reply. The red-head kept her eyes on her opponent, trying not to give away any hint of the effort it took to maintain the shield spell she used to keep him at a good distance.

"You do look quite tired. Why don't we end this pointless little foreplay and rest together? I'm very interested in finding out more about you, now."

"Sorry, I don't like arrogant guys," she replied. Cocky guys, maybe; they were entertaining right up until the point where they moved from behaving stupid to getting annoying. But she still held her hand outstretched and maintaining her temporary shield spell. "Persistent ones are even worse."

Though he had an overall human form and size, it would be a mistake beyond even a novice to be tricked by this demon. Tess had already seen through his earlier human disguise – pretty much like any wiccan worth their salt would have, second sight or not.

He was about as tall as another dumbass she was familiar with, built like a dancer. The elegant, curved horns added to his tall figure and his fiery orange-red hair made his skin look as pale as the moon. He had bright orange eyes and a smile that on any other guy might've been very winning. Those tight dark pants he wore though, with a very uncertain low rise, the stylish boots and the downright dandy white shirt left halfway open to reveal a chiseled chest, made him look like a man-slut... And in turn, it made this master incubus even more obvious in his nature. He even had a flashy red sash tied around his waist, like he wasn't advertising himself enough already.

When she came to hunt this creature down, she expected a regular incubus, something she'd already dealt with time and time again. Self-awareness and the protective talismanic sign tattooed on her skin (high on the pelvis, it peeked over her low skirt but could be hidden easily when she wanted) was enough to shield her from the supernatural charm of these creatures. But he wasn't a run-of-the-mill incubus after all. In fact, this guy had exceeded her expectations...and downright cornered her.

The problem was that the regular banishing hexes for incubi did not quite work on him. It had taken off the human disguise easily but as far as Tess could tell, they’d done little more than bother him a bit. But the most annoying part was easily that constant _flirting_. He hadn't stopped hitting on her in every conceivable way (in a frustratingly gentlemanly manner) since she revealed his nature and forced him out of his human disguise. That irritated her beyond belief but fortunately it also further ensured she wouldn't get caught by his charm powers.

She glanced about the empty dance hall; it was a pretty appropriate venue to find this guy, where he had preyed on enough women already. The most disturbing part of it was that rather than directly kill them, he seemed content to feed on their vitality, leaving them withered shells of their former selves, still under his spell with such fervor that they went mad, killed themselves or pathetically pined away into sickness and even death.

"Aah you wound me, Tess," the demon replied. He let a wistful sigh and stepped closer slowly, combing some hair off his face showily.

"I'd be happy to wound you some more," she replied without missing a beat.

The incubus laughed, putting his hands to his waist. "My, my, I do like your spark. You're ice and fire, Tess, and I haven't encountered vitality like yours with such an attractive form in a very long time," he said silkily. Tess nearly took her eyes off him to roll them in irritation as he ran his gaze over her figure and licked his lips in approval.

He was probably taking in her sort of long red hair, bright green eyes and the generously curved thighs under the long skirt and then predictably, she watched his gaze settle on her chest. And to think, she always took care that the purple shirt was _not_ creating the most impressive of cleavages. Men! Apparently, some demons weren’t all that different from their mortal counterparts in that department.

"Has anyone ever mentioned just how annoying these pick up lines get?" she muttered.

"No, actually I can't say so, but then again most ladies have other interests to share with me! And quite reluctantly on my part, I assure you!" he said with a little laugh.

“Yeah, I’ll bet,” she muttered and lowered her hand at last, then suddenly swung it, creating a flurry of fire bolts all directed at him.

He smoothly dodged most of them and to her surprise, caught the rest in his hands. They had no effect on him and as he snapped his fingers the flames dispersed like little glowing moths.

"Oh, I must have omitted to mention, I have a certain...affinity for fire myself," he added, weaving a wreath of fire with his index finger and hurled it at her.

Tess gritted her teeth and dodged it while teleporting constantly to add to her weaves and twirls that enabled her to avoid the pursuing ring of fire until it extinguished itself.

"I am most impressed!" the incubus chuckled, following closely with a wider smile. "You are so nimble, so flexible! I can only imagine that you are this dexterous in _other_ activities as well!"

" _Ugh_..." Tess sighed. She evaded him one more time, directing a branding hex at him, with a sharp motion and the words of power ringing in the air like a burst of thunder.

It hit the demon in the chest right as two other plumes of fire lashed forward from him forcing her to counter them with two of her own. The two fronts of fire met with a roar of flame that extinguished itself with a gritty hiss and resulted in a nasty, sooty black scorch mark on the ceiling.

He was flung back but skidded on his feet to a dignified stop. "Ah! I confess I could come to like this rough treatment, sweetness. I find it most fetching. We are both creatures of fire, we'll make a glorious pair~" he purred.

"Or you could just drop dead and spare me," Tess replied curtly and dodged him again.

The incubus just chuckled, maintaining that calm, attractive smile like he was trying to pull everything in, and followed her footsteps with a self-confident smile. "Then why do you run like a doe before the stag? On my honor, I won't hurt you."

"Where the fuck do you _get_ all this tripe?" Tess muttered.

She barely slipped out of his grasp again, just to notice a plume of fire behind her from the corner of her eye. She turned to avoid it, enabling the incubus to take hold of her wrist – firmly but not enough to hurt; physically, anyway, because her second sight experienced a pang of pain.

"At last, we are brought together, my icy queen. Your resistance only serves to increase my interest. You are so energetic..." he purred. As he did, he leaned closer to her and she leaned as far back as she could. She had to physically strain herself not to cringe at that wide, predatory smile he had, like he was about to pull her close and deliver one of those big-damn-kisses regularly featured in movies.

Before Tess could deck him in the face though or set him on fire, a sarcastic scoff interrupted her and made the incubus look over his shoulder, his free hand hovering over Tess' waist.

"You know, it pisses me off when jerks like you treat girls that way. Pushing ladies around like that? Tsk, tsk, tsk... Gives all us guys a bad name."

Tess finally indulged in the eye-roll she'd been holding back. "Great, just when I thought my day was complete with just one mouthy idiot..." she muttered under her breath.

The incubus narrowed his eyes but didn't lose his smile as he stood straight. "Ah, it's you," he said casually. He turned to face his challenger, eyeing them up and down closely but never let go of Tess' wrist. "I've heard of you. You're that oaf that finally conquered Nevan; an impressive achievement, considering her nature."

Dante chuckled, walking closer with his sword rested on his shoulder and his wrist draped over the hilt negligently, keeping it balanced. "That's some ancient history, pal. But I'm at a disadvantage here. You seem know me, but I don't know you."

Tess, irritated beyond belief, scoffed in turn. "I can tell you that," she said bluntly, making the incubus and Dante look at her. She put her free hand on her waist in an annoyed gesture. "This horny idiot's name is Neberius. He just _couldn't wait_ to let me know," she said sarcastically, then tried to jerk her wrist away from the incubus with no success.

"It'd be rude to pursue a lady without having introduced myself properly," Neberius said with a casual shrug. He wasn't letting go of her.

"I'll bet it is," Dante said. "So how about you let go of the lady and we settle this like gentlemen, huh?" he added, pulling his sword off his shoulder and resting it tip-first onto the floor with a gentle thunk.

Tess almost scoffed. Was it just her, or was Dante sounding a little…ticked off?

But the master incubus’ interest seemed to have been piqued. "You suggest a duel?" Neberius said. His widening smile reminded Tess of a snake.

"Pretty much," Dante replied with a similar smile and a curt nod.

"Hey! If you're suggesting you duel over me or something, forget it!" Tess blurted in surprise. "This is no time to-- _gah_!"

Neberius casually pulled the sash from around his waist and it uncoiled like a serpent. Then it wrapped itself around Tess' arms, squeezing them against her sides despite her valiant efforts to fight it off and smothering the fire blast she was preparing. It wrapped around her thoroughly, from shoulders to thighs, revealing that it was longer than she'd anticipated.

"We'll do this properly, then!" Neberius said casually. The sash half dragged, half carried Tess off to the side and forced her to sit on one of the cushioned sofas that lined the hall, despite her resistance and often foul protestations. "Please excuse me, sweetness, but I do understand that you'd interfere very much in your fervor to get me to yourself..."

"Like hell I would!" Tess blurted. She was forced to sit on the couch with her arms bound so tight she felt like a Christmas present. What infuriated her more was that Dante didn’t do anything more than crack a laugh at the whole scene.

"He's right, Twig! You better sit this one out!" Dante called with an amused look. "I want to see what this cocky slime-ball is made of myself! Sweetness, my ass!"

Tess just growled at him lowly while struggling with her binds. Yeah, he definitely sounded annoyed. But she was too frazzled to think of some immediate reply that wasn’t composed of randomly selected foul swears and curses towards his well-being.

Neberius just laughed and formed a plume of fire from his hand that extinguished itself in a flurry of embers that looked like moths. From that he manifested a long, elegant sword of black metal that glistened with a red hue.

"For the lady's honor, then – and favors – we shall duel. To the death?" Neberius asked formally. He twirled the blade in his hand rather expertly.

"Ha, what else?" Dante smirked, raising his hands halfway and gripped his sword’s hilt.

"This is ridiculous! Cut me loose! I'm not going to sit here while you two treat me like a fucking damsel!" Tess barked. Stuck on the couch, she struggled vigorously, just to find that the sash was keeping her from standing up, teleporting, or even producing fire.

Neberius chuckled a bit, glancing at her with a very fond expression. "Aah, I see the lady doth protest too much~" he said with an amused shrug.

Dante grinned and shook his head. "She's always like that. She'll never admit she's actually flattered."

"Shut up!!" Tess blurted. She stamped her foot on the ground and glared daggers at both while still fidgeting. "I am _not_ flattered! This is retarded!"

"I see what you mean," Neberius confessed, rubbing his chin a bit. "Yes, that spark of hers is very fetching indeed..."

Tess groaned. "...Dante, do me a favor."

"Yeah?"

" _Please_ kill him," she seethed and smiled wryly. "And then shoot yourself. I can't stand any more of this bullshit you two are spouting – not with a straight face."

Neberius looked a bit taken aback while Dante threw his head back and laughed again. "Yeah, that's more like it, Twig. I never thought you'd just sit there lookin' pretty. But it's a duel now, so sit tight and swear all you like. You're no dainty lady."

"Screw you~" Tess replied with a sing-song tone.

Neberius chuckled. "I should say Tess is quite right. You don't quite deserve addressing her in such a manner. I'll remedy that promptly."

Saying so, he swung the blade gracefully into a firm yet carefully staged fencer stance that Dante met with an amused laugh as he twirled Rebellion in his hand once. The next moment, they rushed at each other in a flash of blades and fire. Neberius met Dante's force with an amused smile, the sounds of clashing blades filling the hall and errand sparks shooting about from the contact of the swords. Neberius would interrupt Dante's approach with columns of fire and large blazes that filled the room with a sooty smell that was juxtaposed by the faint smell of gunpowder as Dante saw the fire as an open invitation to draw his guns.

"Ah, a marskman!" Neberius said casually when a hail of bullets came his way. He gracefully evaded them by suddenly dispersing himself into a cloud of flame-like moths and moving away in a habit that reminded Dante very much of Nevan and her bats. "I'm rather impressed, though not enough to relinquish my claim on the lady."

Dante just chuckled, dodging waves of fire that rose out of nowhere and dogged him around the room while Neberius reappeared in a corner of the room and appeared to be orchestrating the assaults of fire, using his sword like a conductor's baton. However he was forced to abandon his routine when a new round of gunfire came his way and then Dante followed, rushing in with a powerful swing of the sword, scraping the ground along the way. Neberius barely dodged by jumping back and followed that with a pretty impressive display of reflexes as he engaged Dante in a fast-paced clashing of swords.

"At least you know what you're doing with that thing," Dante chuckled in the midst of it when he came to a deadlock with the demon.

Both were trying to push each other back with little to no success, as Dante found the incubus to be more than a match for his strength.

"I would be ashamed to attempt to win the favor of any lady with any less skill than this," Neberius responded. He wore a strained smirk, mustering his efforts.

He finally pushed Dante away with a sudden shove and swung his blade in front of him, sending a large blaze of fire at him that crawled along the ground, scorching everything in its way. Dante easily evaded it, dodging to the side. He continued to do so as Neberius swung his blade a few more times, sending more blazes at him, and then following the last one with a rapid assault and a two handed swing that Dante had to forcibly parry.

"Really, I think it's quite pointless of you to have entered in this endeavor," Neberius said casually. "You obviously don't know how to treat a woman properly."

"Hah, who're you to tell me how to treat the ladies?" Dante scoffed.

"Like you're better! You ever asked yourself why women generally want to kill you? Sometimes I swear that you were raised by cavemen!" Tess shouted from the couch.

Neberius laughed. "I see that our lady at least is honest about your shortcomings."

Dante faked a small sulk. "Come on, Tess, whose side are you on?!" he scoffed.

"Just shut up and get this over with!" she snapped back. "If you bungle this up, I'm going to wring your half-demonic neck!"

She squirmed, still trapped in her obligatory seat and gritted her teeth, very obviously wanting to get out of her binds and _get in there_ , wanting more than anything to deep-fry both creatures, just to shut them up!

It was finally Neberius who got the first blow in when, using a very precisely-executed riposte, he got past Dante's minimum range and delivered a fast slice along the outside of Dante's right arm, from the wrist nearly all the way up to the shoulder. It was a short-lived victory, however, because nearly immediately Dante had drawn one of his guns and shot a point-blank round against the incubus' shoulder. The blows forced them apart; Neberius let a small and sharp growl as he backed up and rubbed his shoulder, while Dante grunted without losing his smirk and tightened his grip around his sword.

"Hmph, you nearly had me there," the incubus said dryly.

Dante smirked. "Wouldn't be fun if it was one-sided," he scoffed. His arm looked stiff for a moment, as if it hurt, but he soon flexed it like nothing had happened.

"Your persistence is beginning to bother me. Why don't you just give up? Just by your brutish combat style I can tell you are in no position to make claims for the favor of a woman you could never possibly satisfy," the incubus stated. He kept darting around to dodge a hail of bullets and sending plumes of fiery moths at Dante, who went between dodging and shooting them out of the air.

" _Pshh_ , please. I've known her for years. Know _aaaaaall_ her buttons. You wouldn't know where to get started, especially when she starts being all cranky," the demon hunter scoffed. 

"Hey!" Tess blurted, clearly indignant.

"You keep giving me proof that you are little better than a common rogue, not worthy of her attentions," Neberius said a little more seriously.

Dante smirked and pushed him back with a powerful backhanded sword strike that carried a blast of energy forward. The incubus was knocked back, skidding along the floor on his feet again but this time he came to a stop on his knee, in evident pain with some blood pattering on the ground and sizzling like it was extremely hot.

"Funny, 'cuz I'm the only one she keeps jeering all this time!" Dante laughed. He wasn’t planning to allow the incubus any time for recovery and dodged another column of fire that came in so close that it singed his coat and hair a little bit. He closed in and swung with a purpose to finish this fight up when Neberius caught his swing in a parry and swept up Dante's legs with a kick.

"Perhaps then," Neberius sneered, "You ought to accept the fact that you are unwelcome to the lady and –"

"You're _both_ equally unwelcome! Just get this shit over with!!" Tess barked.

"See? Can't even admit she's starting to like this," Dante scoffed, even as his back hit the ground. "I tell you, she's a bitchy little thing."

"You're beginning to annoy me," Neberius muttered, attempting to skewer Dante through the chest while he lay on the ground.

But he just missed as the slayer flipped his legs over his head and rolled back to his feet, shooting the incubus in the knees. Neberius hissed and jumped back, summoning another batch of burning columns that shot out from the floor. They followed Dante around as he dodged, moving to the side and drawing both guns to fire at the incubus, who seemed to be tiring a little at last.

To Tess' relief, Dante eventually stopped dicking around and took things a little more seriously. He put some more force behind his blows and knocked Neberius back, breaking the demon's stance enough to land a few solid hits with the sword, spraying the ground with the nearly lava-like blood of the incubus as he pushed the mouthy bastard back further and further with each blow.

Finally, with a resounding _THUNK!_ Dante pinned Neberius against the wall with his sword skewered into the incubus' gut.

"I'd say this duel is over..." Dante said with the lightest of pants and a satisfied grin.

" _Hurrh_..." Neberius wheezed with a dignified smirk and seemed to slouch against the wall. He dropped his blade, which dissipated in a flurry of fire moths. "I should...say so indeed," he admitted. "I might have expected this. To vie for the favors of a lady like Tess...it is a risky business indeed. I am forced to give up pursuing her..."

Dante smirked a little angrily. "Damn right you are," he said and pushed the blade further into the demon's gut.

" _Aaargh!_ ...Yes, yes, fine! I yield..." he growled, raising his hand in a gesture of surrender. "Fine, I'll...allow you the honor of my services..." he muttered with a sulk. "Do remember me, fair Tess, my fiery ice queen –"

"Go to hell," Tess called back, interrupting him.

The incubus sighed in disappointment, looking really and honestly crestfallen.

"I told you, she's a bitch," Dante shrugged.

He pulled the Rebellion back with a squishy sound and sheathed it, right as the incubus seemed to dissolve into a mass of fire moths that revealed a sleek and straight saber of dark metal. It had a sweeping hilt and hand-guard, crafted to look like elegant wings crossed over each other to protect the hand as it gripped the hilt. The blade was sharply pointed and so perfectly made, Dante could've balanced it on his fingers. A few red jewels that glowed with the hues of fire decorated the pommel and hand-guard, giving off small flickers of fire.

Dante grasped the blade with one hand firmly, with a smarmy smile. "Well, Twig, I hope you're happy now," he said, turning and twirling the blade like a master fencer. Flames followed the course of the blade through the air. "I beat that handsy slime-ball off you like a gentleman would."

"Yeah, real touching, thanks. You should've killed the bastard..." she muttered.

"Nah, that'd be too easy. Now I get to use this toothpick any way I like and not give a damn," he said with a shrug.

Tess just stared at him with a deadpan look, still bound in that incubus' sash. "Whatever, just cut me loose and don't even think about –"

He interrupted her. With a magnificent flourish and a turn, Dante more or less _danced_ up to her, swinging the thin blade in an impressive choreography of jabs, thrusts and cuts, all of them wreathed in the brightest flames he'd ever seen a Devil Arm give off. Yeah, he was very shamelessly showing off like she knew he would.

"No, don't you dare--!!" Tess blurted. She quickly shut her eyes, tilting her head away as Dante cut a vertical slash right in front of her.

It cut the wrapping around her so neatly that her clothes didn't even feel it, except for her hair fluttering back at the wind produced. The cut sash pooled right around her on the couch and she returned her look at him with a very annoyed and frustrated expression.

Dante just chuckled, turning the blade tip down and resting it against the floor in a showy manner. "Lighten up, Twig. You might've lost flamehead, but I'm still here," he said with a playful wink.

She stood up with as much dignity as she had left, beat her clothes down a little and directed a dirty look at him. "Pack the ego. This isn't a case of you getting the girl, mister," she huffed. With furious determination she strode off past him.

"I never needed to get the girl – I know you love me!" Dante said. He sheathed the Neberius blade on his back for the time being, under and opposite Rebellion and followed her with an amused gesture of spreading his arms halfway and letting them drop by his side again.

"Funny, because you sounded downright _jealous_ back there," she said pointedly.

"Pssh!" he scoffed. "Keep telling yourself that, Twig. You sound like you don't wanna admit you were flattered to have two guys duel for you."

"Oh yeah, real exciting, being treated like a goddamn prize..." she muttered, throwing her hand up. "My life is now complete!"

Dante now sulked a bit. "Whatever," he huffed. "You really are a bitch, you know. Can't ever appreciate anything. Always finding some downside to anything I do. I tell ya, 'ice queen' doesn't even begin to cut it –"

"Oh, for pity's sake!" Tess muttered angrily. She stopped, turned and reaching up, grabbed Dante, who stopped and looked bewildered for a second, by the lapels of his coat.

She pulled him down to her height and pressed her lips on his, giving him a deep and full kiss. Dante did not complain and felt she meant it completely...just like she meant her frustration. He went with it, a bit too eagerly, especially when their tongues got involved as he actually leaned in closer, wrapped his arm around her waist and she gripped at his coat tighter for a second. She almost made them both topple over and then she finally pulled back with a small gasp for air, frowned at him and then turned on her heels, walking off quickly.

Dante was left staring at her as she walked off, speechless for a whole of five seconds before he grinned widely. "If you're gonna do that every time I save your pretty ass, please get in trouble more often!" he said, following.

"Get bent," Tess muttered.

"What, you gimmie a kiss to raise the dead and you're not gonna follow up on that?"  he said gleefully.

"I've had enough of big-talking demonic suitors for a day, Dante...way too much bullshit..." she said hotly and he chuckled.

**Author's Note:**

> There really isn't much to say about this. Most of this story is the result of my friend Raz goading me on with this silly idea that started with a question about what could possibly make Dante shut up for more than a few seconds when he's on a roll. I thought that probably getting a kiss out of nowhere would do the trick.
> 
> I also wanted to sorta muck around with the idea of a Devil Arm, how Dante gets it, what he battles... and a bit of fun that you'd expect from DMC to deliver about such matters.
> 
> Plus, I kind of wanted to bother Tess, and forcing her to sit through a long session of male ego trips and smack talk was cruel enough for her. I might've been a little _too_ mean to her.


End file.
